Tools for Tough Moments: Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence Doesn’t Have One Face
When most of us picture domestic violence, a specific image comes to mind. But that picture is incomplete and the gap between what we imagine and what’s actually true can make it harder for people to get the support they deserve.
Domestic violence happens across all kinds of relationships, in all kinds of homes, to all kinds of people. Understanding that is the first step toward being someone others feel safe turning to.
Who it affects
DV occurs in same-sex and LGBTQ+ relationships at similar or higher rates than in heterosexual relationships. It happens between adult children and aging parents, often involving financial exploitation or isolation. It shows up in caregiving relationships where one person controls another’s mobility, communication, or basic needs. It happens between siblings, often minimized as family conflict. And it happens to men, who face significant barriers to reporting and being believed.
None of these experiences are rare. They’re just rarely talked about.
What connects them all
Regardless of who is involved, domestic violence is about power and control. One person using tactics (emotional, physical, financial, or otherwise) to dominate another. That dynamic doesn’t belong to any one gender, identity, relationship type, or walk of life.
What you can do
You don’t need to be an expert to make a difference. The most important thing you can offer someone who comes to you is belief. Not advice, not a plan, not a list of reasons they should leave. Just belief.
If someone in your life shares something difficult with you, resist the urge to question or minimize. Trust that it took courage to say it out loud. That single act of being believed can be the thing that helps someone feel safe enough to take a next step … whatever that step looks like for them.
This month’s tool for a tough moment: believe them. It costs nothing and can mean everything.
If you or someone you know needs support, call or text the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.