Tools for Tough Moments: Beyond Self-Care: Why We Need Each Other
Self-care has become a familiar idea, and for good reason. Taking time to rest and tend to our own well-being is genuinely important. But there’s a question worth sitting with: is self-care alone enough to sustain us?
Vikki Reynolds, a therapist and activist whose work focuses on collective care and sustainability in helping roles, offers a perspective that goes further. She challenges the idea that we can care for ourselves in isolation, and instead points toward something more honest: we need each other. Collective care is the practice of turning toward one another in our families, workplaces, and communities, and recognizing that our well-being is woven together.
What collective care actually looks like
Collective care doesn’t require a formal role or a special skill set. It looks like noticing when someone seems off and asking how they’re really doing. It looks like a coworker checking in after a hard week. It looks like creating space where people feel safe enough to be honest about what they’re carrying. Reynolds emphasizes that community is a resource, not just individuals making private choices, but people actively holding each other up.
The limits of “just take care of yourself”
When someone is struggling, the advice to “practice self-care” can sometimes land as lonely. It can feel like the message is: this is yours to fix. But humans aren’t built for that. We are wired for connection, and some of what depletes us can only be restored in relationship with others. That’s not weakness. It’s how we’re made.
A tool for a tough moment: offer to listen
One of the most accessible forms of collective care is also one of the most powerful: being a listening ear. Think about someone in your life who seems more stressed than usual, or who keeps saying they’re “fine.” Offering to listen doesn’t require fixing anything. You don’t need answers. Presence and attention are their own kind of care, and for someone quietly carrying something heavy, being asked and actually heard can matter more than you know.
We are not meant to sustain ourselves alone. Choosing to show up for one another is a consistent, quiet act of care, and a steadying tool for a tough moment for all of us.
Resource to check out
- Vikki Reynolds’ work on collective care and sustainability — vikkireynolds.ca
- How collective care can change society – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj-alDQD2fg